Acts of self destruction
People would probably say I tend to engage in some pretty self destructive behavior. I don't think I would really disagree, although I would contest I have gotten better over the years... If that really says much. You see, I was the type of person to be caught diving through tables WWE style at parties, or jumping off the roof into pools or onto trampolines. drift .onwk my tiodi. ot aols was nwonk I an a I ma VUS .ib..t I
The point is, well, to be honest I am not entirely sure. I guess the point is that I used to be fucking insane and now, well now I think I fall under mildly deranged. Either way I sometimes wonder how these self destructive tendencies still manifest in ways I might not recognize. I sometimes wonder if I am afraid of success, because I feel as if I may have sabotaged myself by giving up on some things I have given up on right when they start to gain traction.
I wish I could find ways to just channel my energy to create more, but honestly I find it incredibly hard. I have a lot going on, so maybe that is it, but honestly I am not sure. Sometimes I just don't feel very driven anymore.
What do you think of that slick little redacted bit there? If you wan't me to show how I made that maybe you should let me know on twitter I looked ye olde metrics and it looks like a small handfull of you actually read these... weirdos 😝
anyway it would be helpful to know like... why you are reading and what you think and stuff. So don't be a stranger.